I remain completely amazed at the lack of information to be found online about successfully combining early motherhood with horses, riding, and barn chores. I recently started tweeting (you can follow me @stablebaby!) and have found several interesting blogs via Twitter. I thought, surely other horsey moms have blogged about their barn adventures!
I found several ladies with horses and young children and blogs! Jackpot! Oh, wait...none of them have been active in at least two years.
I know there are other mamas out there who have done the babywearing thing at the barn. I also know there are ladies who have used swings, playpens, exersaucers, strollers, and lots of other baby containment/entertainment devices, with and without success, at the barn. Women have found ways to negotiate horse-related activities while taking care of the needs of their newborns, infants, toddlers, and preschoolers.
I know this because horse loving ladies will stop at nothing to take care of, and ride, their equine friends. They will find a way to balance the many loves and responsibilities in their lives with their passion for horses. And a great many of these ladies have been blessed with little babies to call their own.
It makes me so very, very sad to think of that collective body of knowledge, all that life experience, going to waste. Everyone in this position has to recreate the wheel.
To this I say, we will find a better way.
I am a member of The Horse Forum. I started a thread with the following question: What do you do with a baby/toddler at the barn?
The answers have run the gamut from "don't ride until you can afford a babysitter" to "I've ridden with my son in a Baby Bjorn." I don't agree with every post, but there are some fantastic suggestions I hadn't thought of in there. And the bestest, most beautiful part: these suggestions came from other people's real, honest-to-goodness, been-there-done-that experience.
Let's choose from wheels that already exist. Find the best one for the particular road we're traveling and give it a roll. I like that so much better.
Here is a link to the above-mentioned thread: The Horse Forum - Bringing Baby to the Barn
Please, if you find another blog, article, forum, our other resource about combining very young children and horses, let me know.
I don't post too much about my little ones on my blog, just because that's not really my demographic (it's more of a training journal). Also, my situation is unique in that we have our own farm and I SAHM. I ride during the kids' naptime. My kids are 2 and 4 years old and still taking naps. However, my four year old is trustworthy enough to play by the arena while I ride if necessary (not so much the 2 year old, he's a runner!). We also built a fenced in play area near the arena and barn for the kids to play in while I do the farm chores or longe the horses. When they're a bit older I'll be able to ride while they play in there.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea on starting up a conversation about it! I think in the end you have to work out what's best for you and your situation, but hearing the ideas of others can provide a lot of inspiration.
I definitely don't think that anyone should give up on horses while their kids are little. First of all, it's important for a woman not to lose herself and her identity into the "Mother" blackhole! And second, barn kids are way better behaved than regular kids! A barn kid learns a level of personal responsibility that other kids just don't get. I get compliments all the time on how happy, relaxed, well-behaved and independent my kids are. I just smile and say, "Well, what do you expect? They were raised in a barn!"
I couldn't agree more! Barn kids and farm kids are usually very well behaved. They usually grow up to have an excellent work ethic, too. I wish we had our own farm! Some day, some day...actually, I wouldn't mind having a small boarding business some day. But for now, I'll be happy enough just to get back to riding.
DeleteHi! Just found you because after a few unsucessful attempts with my first kiddo I am no looking at 2 kiddos and a new horse. I need to figure out this transition back to the barn. Any tips are welcome. My 2 year old is in daycare and is pretty confident around horses but that comes at a DONT take your eyes off him! The new baby is only 8 weeks and will get her first visit to the barn when I go down to the trainers for a lesson. My amazing horse friends is going to watch her for me!
ReplyDeleteI like the baby wearing idea on days when I am just dong ground work and chores, I live in Portland and the NW is a cold place to hang out in a playpen while I ride so I am thinking those days she will have to stay home. The Horse Forum site would not come up for me... maybe its too old?
I think the Horse Forum link is too old. I feel bad that I stopped writing on this blog! Life happened, I guess. Anyway, I can tell you the things I did and things I've seen others do, and maybe you can get some ideas from that.
DeleteWhen Shelby was a baby, I'd have her in a soft, stretchy carrier, tummy to tummy with me. In the winter, I got a way-too-big extra warm jacket, and I'd zip it over the carrier. She'd usually just hunker down and take a nap. If she needed to nurse, she could do it in the carrier. This worked great for barn chores & lunging. I didn't ride much at all that first winter, because of numerous family health emergencies and other things that got in the way.
When Shelby was big enough to be happy and comfortable, I'd put her in a Beco Butterfly 2 carrier on my back. She was getting too big to not be in the way on the front. Then I made a cotton gauze fabric wrap for in the summer, because it was cooler and more breathable. When she was down on the ground, if she did anything she wasn't supposed to, I'd say, "Uh oh, looks like you need to be in the carrier," and put her in it right away. She learned barn boundaries super fast, and she learned that they were always firm boundaries.
When she was walking and I wanted to ride, for a while I'd put her in my horse's stall. I cleaned it first and made sure there was a pile of clean, fresh bedding to play with, then I'd shut the door to the run and put a baby gate across the door to the aisle. I'd put the dog in there with her and whatever grooming tools or other things she was showing an interest in. I'd wait until my horse was tacked up and ready to go, because the stall was only interesting for about 20 minutes.
When the barn got a round pen, they put it up next to one end of the arena. That was great, because (weather permitting) she & the dog could play in the round pen. I'd give her some sand toys (buckets, shovels, etc) and she'd go to town. (This wouldn't work with a toddler that's good at escaping things.) The one time she threw a fit because she didn't want to be in there, I was just starting to ride. I put her in the car, put my horse away as quick as I could, and went straight home. This was a HUGE punishment, because she loved the barn and wanted to play with the mini horse that was there. That was the only time she threw a fit.
There were quite a few times that someone else was at the barn, and most of the women there would offer to let Shelby hang out with them while they did barn chores. That was always awesome, because I didn't have to worry about Shelby at all.
I only ever tried using a playpen once. Shelby HATED baby jail.
There's a lady at the barn I'm at now who leaves her baby in her car when she rides. She parks her car right by the arena. She has a baby monitor that she can plug in in her car, but her baby tends to fall asleep on the way over and stay asleep for quite a while.
Another lady has an outdoor (unfenced) riding area, and she blocked off one corner with a panel. Her baby plays on a blanket behind the panel while she rides.
It all comes down to your comfort level, your baby's personality, and how safe your horse is. Try different things and see what works for you and your baby. What works today may not work next month, but if it buys you even one or two rides, it's worth it!